I read the WaIf Street everyday
No insider trading going to get in my way

And all the analysts have their say
Of who of you get my money today
 

But "I don't really resent them, they're just trying to do their jobs
They all have children in college, I shouldn't be such a money" grubin' slob
 

But in the longs and shorts of my life, there are times when I feel the worst
When my stocks and bonds take a dive~ it still hurts

"The merger acquisitions mania's best To help the corporations sell and divest The many stock shares into which I invest my hard earned, meager assets

But I don't really resent them, they're just trying to their jobs
They all have dues at their golf cubs,. I shouldn't be such a white wine drinking snob

But in the longs and shorts of my life, there are times when I feel the worst
When my stocks and bonds take a dive, it still hurts

My oils are up and my gold is down Blue chips are sideways but the munis are sound
Stocks depressed, my brokers never around I think he might have left town

But I don't really resent them, they're just trying to do their jobs
While on drug maintenance programs, I wonder why some brokers feel they have to rob

But in the longs and shorts of my life, there are times when I feel the worst
When my stocks and bonds take a dive~ it still hurts